3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
