i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
