margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
