Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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