I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
