So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's not a walk of shame if you run
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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