this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize