After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was like eating out sand paper
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
