she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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