It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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