Quick, to the slutcave!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
