i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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