does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
