im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize