i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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