And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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