Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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