my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
pray to the hookup gods
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
