nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
