Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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