i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
