please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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