clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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