Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
