His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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