so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
