just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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