i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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