I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
