They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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