The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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