I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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