I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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