you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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