I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
