1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
