To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
