Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
