But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
