Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize