This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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