Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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