Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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