I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
