you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
