Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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