So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize