Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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