no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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