to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
