How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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