So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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