were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
