I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
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She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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