need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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