Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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