My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
