I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
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once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If I die, sorry about rent.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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