life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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