We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
