Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
