WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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