The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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