I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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