Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i came on her dog
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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